I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
