i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
