no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
