I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
