That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
