Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize