yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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