Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
