His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
