.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
