How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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