Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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