i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
