sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
