the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
