I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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