Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
