how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
