ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
pop tarts are not kleenex
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
