This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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