Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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