you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
