I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
