fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
