butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
soo... how was my night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
