I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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