I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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