She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
