He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
ttyl tear gas
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
