i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
