I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
