shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
