i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
