What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Two words: blizzard sex
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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