Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
