The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
