he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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