Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
