If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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