I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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