I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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