Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
