There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I had to cum in my sink.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
