some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
