you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
