where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
