hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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