Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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