awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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