It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
