Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.

Fav 6 2792 924
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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

Fav 65 14162 1185
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(618): View more from Illinois

Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

Fav 22 1518 4479
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(775): View more from Nevada

Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

Fav 3 1457 2881
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.

Fav 36 14139 1378
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(208): View more from Idaho

Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

Fav 19 3308 1689
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

Fav 9 1182 2389
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(804): View more from Virginia

I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction

Fav 1 360 205
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(817): View more from Texas

There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!

Fav 0 10 24
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